Monthly Archives: March 2013

abduction by chocolate aliens, yet again.

Standard

my little choco alienMy body brain was experiencing a massive take-over from the chocolate aliens. “We must have chocolate and now daddy!”, they laser screened into every cell & pore of my body. Clearly they were gender confused, but it’s not the first time I’ve been mistaken for the other sex. [Why, just the other day, the PGE phone rep called me “sir” at the end of every sentence. No doubt, dutifully following their do-not-think-outside-of-the-box script.] Well, the car I drive must have been programmed simultaneously, and proceeded without my doing, to drive straight to the Trader Joe’s, a few blocks away. I honestly do not know how it happened. Was not present, but still won.

Meanwhile, back at my new home/girlcave, I surveyed the depths of my TJ’s boldly designed, sailing the seven seas themed eco-shopping bag. WTF? Boxes of kona-coffee dipped cookies, chocolate truffles, and chocolate bars appeared on the kitchen counter. Huh. “How did all that get here? Am I that low in magnesium?”, I mused. The proponents of the 5th food group, chocolate, had no doubt, been powering that alien space ship.

Without thinking, I automatically proceeded to read the labels, as any good student of nutrition that has been well-trained [or positively brain-washed] will do. Oh Oh! I pondered and continued to peruse the ingredients list. “Why does every bloody boxed food item insist on containing soy lecithin |ˈlesəTHin| [less-a-thin]. Next, came the instant barrage of questions, pummeling my brainiac nutrition & health obsessed brainy brain brain, like a serious North Shore 15 foot towering winter wave about to keel over me. OMG. Is is GMO? What actually IS soy lecithin? How do you actually pronounce that word? Why is it always soy? What’s the alternative? Is it good, bad, ugly? Is it really “all good?” Who coined that phrase anyways? Was it Tupac? [RIP] Snoop? Is it GMO? Is it GMO? Is it GMO?!!! It doesn’t say organic, it must be GMO! Shit.” Maybe I can call someone, I thought to myself. Ah, like who, the GMO police? No 800 number on the boxes, no number found on the website. Oh, the website! An hour later I resurfaced, triumphant. And Spanish dancers, this is what I found:

According to Trader Joe’s website, [which btw, has excellent basic nutrition guides for dummies & not-so-dummies], their home grown private label contains: no GMO’s, no MSG, no partially hydrogenated oils [fake, mafia bad fats], no synthetic colors, no artificial flavor flavs, no preservatives. “Since 2001, we do not allow GMO ingredients in our private label products.” Yahoo!!! HCIT! [how cool is that? way cool.]

Somehow, I managed to wake up from the chocolate induced stupor, and well, at least the cookies, ended up getting tossed. [No silly, meaning, in the garbage…ah, compost, that is.]

Quick nutrition lesson 101: Lecithin is any group of yellow-brownish fatty substances occurring in animal and plant tissues. It is composed of various phospholipids such as phosphatidyl choline [PC]. It is found in all cellular organisms; one of the major components of the cell membrane. As an added ingredient in foods, it is usually made from soybean oil. Thanks to the EU regulations on GMO’s, a gradual switch is being made to other sources like sunflower oils. In the US, it has GRAS status [generally regarded as safe]. In the EU, it is labelled in foods as a food additive [E322]. What this all means: It is highly processed. Always best to eat the food source directly. Eat your [organic, grass-fed & pastured] egg yolks people! It is also found in fish eggs & fish roe. The Euro’s are rocking it when it comes to GMO labeling; and the US, has a long way to go baby.